Voice from the Noise: Beam Me Outta Here

700 On the Move

Vs-31 CAG Aircraft 700 is shot down the cat of the USS GW Washington, circa 2006. VS-31's final deployment before being decommissioned was onboard the USS Washington. The NG on the tail is the give away. Airwings attached to West coast aircraft Carriers are assigned the lead nemonic of "N" while those on the Atlantic are given "A". The 700 or double nuts aircraft in each aircraft is typically given special paint over and above that customary for a squadron aircraft and is usually offered to the Air Wing Commander. This aircraft is sporting an AWW-13 Weapons Data Link pod on that starboard wing pylon. This pod us used to relay video from an inflight missile (Maverick or SLAM-ER) or controls from the aircraft to the missile. There is an actual joystick at the Co-Pilot station that allows the operator at that station to actually fly the missle while it is in flight.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Beam Me Outta Here

This is a total gas!! Enjoy!

ANN April 1st Special Edition

Senior Official Admits "We May Research Ourselves Out Of A Job"

Boeing announced Thursday that, building on the success of its airborne laser program, it has made a breakthrough in another Star Trek-like technology, the transporter.

Working with DARPA, Boeing has managed to transport a block of lead about 30 feet across a laboratory. "It really, really works," said a DARPA official not authorized to speak to the media. "While it's lead, and not a person, which we admit will be a little more complicated, we have proven the concept that matter can be disassembled, converted into energy, beamed across space, and reassembled. It's a breakthrough achievement."

A senior Boeing official, under intense questioning from the media, admitted that the company was indeed working on the program. "I know it may seem like it's a little bit at cross purposes with our core mission," said Montgomery Scott, senior vice president for Advance Technology, who materialized seemingly out of nowhere to join the company last year. "But the biggest hurdle we have now with the system is that we just need more power."

"I know, Boeing's main job is to build airplanes that take people from one place to another, " Scott continued. "We may be on the verge of finally managing to put ourselves out of business."

Pilot, flight attendant, and mechanics unions have all expressed deep concer about the techonolgy. At a vocal protest outside Boeing heaquarters in Seattle, protesters chanted "What do we want? DREAMLINERS! When do we want them? NOT!" Southwest pilots carried signs with the message "Beaming should be a big smile." and "Bags WON'T Beam Free."

For its part, TSA said it would be requiring full body scans of everyone who wished to be transported from one place to another and was already working on a "do not transport" list compiled from a dozen disparate and incompatible databases.

DARPA and Boeing plan to continue the research. "Today, it's lead," said Scott. "Tomorrow, we may be able to beam a hamster or some other rodent. Eventually, we might be able to put a whale in your hold... you just don't know... or do you?"

Thanks to the Aero-News Network.

BT: Jimmy T sends.